Pink says she wants a loving family man (like RD) and a strong family life, she says H has never been that sort of man?
Yes V, I value family a lot. Love the fact that I have one. I have a crazy and adventurous side of me, but I believe that even that can be shared with my family.
H likes family, did many things as a family, but he lacks consistency on this. I always felt he was very selfish some times. He always put himself first.
Was he ever that family man Pink? Is this something that he never had or that he lost?
I think H tried his best, he is always worry as a good provider. But, there is a lot missing in the picture. H would never worry about homework, school stuff, sports, sickness, doctors appointments, who needs what, etc... It was always up to me to run the show.
It was always about his needs first. If he was tired, he made sure he got some rest no matter what. When he had his favorite band concert, he would never ask if I had anything to do. H's work is traveling, in many occasions he arranged some vacations by himself, doing some sightseeing and then he would come home and tell all about it to us.
I think that part of him always want to be a good family man, I just don't think he knew or know how. He always put himself first. I understand it is important to put yourself first, but I never liked his selfishness.
Why was Pink persuaded (or persuaded herself) that H had those values she says attract her?
When I met my H, I was alone for quite a while. He showed caring, he cared about me. He made me feel important. I just fell in love, and I think he did too. With time, I started realizing that he was good at what he was doing at his work, but he wouldn't disconnect from his work, even on weekends.
H was lazy, I always needed to pray a whole rosary in order to get his help around the house, even if this was kind of a man's job. It was always on me. I am not trying to play a victim here. I think it was my big mistake to take charge and have everything resolved.
But I built up a lot of resentment. I wanted to share life with him, but I was just being his secretary many, many times. I would just keep him informed of all the things I took the responsibility for. Even now for our D. He asked for but I am the one that put the papers, he asked me help to complete his paperwork.
Even with his OW, I think sometimes, how he will handle things. For now, they meet each other in hotels, where no one needs to cook, clean, pay bills, have children around, responsibilities with doctors, dentist, sports, etc. I wonder how life will be for him when he needs to face it all again.
Because it is inevitable. If you want to live with someone else, then life will hit you with all what it takes to be a family.
H decide to give up on his family, he left it all for me, does not have any shame to just let it all go to hell. I just wish that he will be hit hard and life will one day teach him to be a real man.
All what I wrote keeps me thinking if I am not better off without him. V, I am so mixed up. I love and hate my H. I miss him and I also feel good he is not there to bother me. I want him back and I don't know I can take him back into my life. I don't want to let him go but I feel I will be better off without him.
I really don't know what to feel or think anymore.
