I think it would be best to leave your W be, and not send a letter. The letter sounds as though you 'know best' and that she is addictive, impulsive and unhealthy. Is that going to get you closer to your aim of reconciliation?
I think you need to let go some more, figure out your own stuff and let your W figure out hers. The letter suggests you are still trying to control the outcome here. And what you probably need to focus on is your own detachment.
JMHO....
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
