TLEE86. Part III

[TLEE86]

Mozza- You bring up some really good points. Yes I believe 100% these changes are real. 9 months from now, God willing we get back together, I will never forget this feeling of pain that I never want to feel again. Yes, she will most definitely piss me the [censored] off. But I can get angry, but not so angry to the point where I start saying things I don't mean and I will regret. No low blows. I am continuing to address my anger issues.

V and MCS- You both talk about WW having remorse or regret for her actions. No, she has not said these things. She has hinted around it, recognized her own faults in the M and no longer blames me completely, and recognizes she took the easy way out. But she continues to insist that nothing is going on with her and OM. Not really sure what to say about this when she is convinced (at least when she talks to me) that nothing is going on so what is she sorry about besides knowing she could have done things different between us? But this is why I feel she is still conflicted about coming home. She is getting closer, but she's not there, so she's not completely owning her actions now.
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Im back home now and I'm frustrated as usual. Frustrated because now that Im home, things are back to where they were before we saw each other, she's back in fantasy land, though she texts and says she's had a rough morning thinking about things.

This job opportunity that is waiting for her down here in TX expires mid May, she knows this. So its a natural timeline for her to make up her mind about things soon.

I feel that when were together, she is open to things starting again, but when were apart, Im not there to let her put a face to words, I'm just a voice on the phone. Yet OM is always there. What chance do i have. Sandi once said this early on, that you don't compete with OM, its not a competition. But seriously, we don't see each other enough to have her miss our interactions.

She's supposed to think about things and hopefully in a few weeks come up with something. I think were all thinking the same thing- she wont decide crap and we'll still be in this same boat.