One thing I have been noticing, is that W will start something, claim she loves it, then not continue on with it, even with continual encouragement, she is not self motivated. She has no hobbies, and she does seem to be down a lot, still. All of this leads me to believe that she has not been using her therapy as intended or it has not really been working well, that she just continually needs to hold onto that high to function. That high being the addiction to the OM at this point. This was apparent when she claimed "I need him" the other night and the fact that nothing else she does makes herself happy - she is depressed and always has been. She really does not see her IC very often as is. Her mother and I wish she would go more often.
The point of her therapy, and actually what she has told me, was that she needs to find herself and get herself to a place where she can make herself happy. Find coping mechanisms to detach from her negativity, GAL. She has even claimed "I need to find my own happiness before being able to love someone else." However, right now, it seems that she has associated all happiness with another individual and does not realize that she is still not able to make herself happy. At least this is from my perspective, as I have noticed these actions, or lack there of, for a long time. Everything else she is doing with regard to this OM is pretty much the same as what she was doing when she was using.
I am considering writing her a letter with my concerns, but I am not sure how it will be taken, and I likely need help drafting it up, if people would be willing to help me with it:
W, I am concerned about you, and I always have been. From my perspective, your actions, words, and decisions feel like they are more of the same from what I have experienced in the past with your addictions. I understand your feelings toward me, and I am not going to contest that. My concern is with what I have heard from you, seen out of you, and how I see the future unfolding for you given your current course.
I feel that the therapy you are pursuing was meant to allow you to figure yourself out for you, and you alone. Providing you tools to allow yourself to become happy for yourself without relying on another individual or "thing." I believe this is the essence of a happy life. I feel, and have found out for myself, that when individuals are able to make themselves happy and love themselves first, they are then capable of truly loving others. Personal happiness comes first though. I feel that, currently, this happiness has been impulsively tied to another individual, of which I feel is very unhealthy and indicative of another addiction. I believe this will ultimately cause strife with you and everyone around you, if not loss, and I feel you have experienced some of this already. I do not want to see this happen to you again. I do want you to be happy, but I believe true happiness can only come from within.
