Nole_Girl (1) Intro

[NoleGrl]

Well, I sorta dropped off the face of the earth here for a while. Work has been very hectic and have not had much time to read or post. Things have slowed down at work and are coming to a head in my M so I need to post and hopefully have someone talk me down form the ledge.

To catch up over the last few months, up until a few weeks ago, things have been pretty much the same. H being cold and distant and blaming me for everything. He said he forgave me but needed to see a postive change. But, I felt like nothing I did was ever right, even if I felt it was a positive (180, etc.) he would spin it into a negative.

Part of our "separation plan" was that we would meet for dinner once a week. But he started cancelling and not rescheduling. Weeks would go by before we would do dinner. He also took me off his family's weekly prayer list, commented on future events without me (plans for trips, wedding in April). I felt like we were in a downward sprial. He would say he wasn't happy being in limbo but was not making a decision either way.

He was also plastering all over socal media drinking and going out pretty much every night. He was becoming friends with various single girls and liking all their pictures. I have suspected there is something going on with a single girl in our circle of friends, but kept my mouth shut about it.

I continued to see our counselor and I told her that honestly I didn't want to see him or talk to him. She said that if any part of me wanted to save this marriage, we needed to have some contact. So, I continued to respond to his texts (he was still texting every day) but not initiating and once a week would ask if we were going to do our weekly dinner.

H was still giving mixed signals. One day he came by the house while I was at work to get some stuff and when I came home he had cleaned my kitchen...so strange. But would then be mean again. At the end of February we both were doing a race (H was doing a half marathon and I was doing a 8k). His race was first and I got there a little early and cheered for him at the finish line. We talked a little and I said congratulations and went to get ready for my race. I was very surprised to see him at my finish line over 2 hours later. All very confusing.