Coming Home

[mleigh4]

Hi Job. I agree, doing anything mechanical or fixing is a love language for H. He was a bit disappointed when He was all ready to order a new filter online, but I told him I will wait this one out a little longer. For him it's the action, but I was just thinking money. I am on a budget so I don't want to get a filter until I absolutely have to. Those buggers are expensive! But thank you for pointing that out, I will make sure to let him know I appreciate those things.

Now for your question. H and I were "older" when we had S. I was 37 and H 35. We were very set in our ways and freedom and our world was rocked when this little demanding creature came into our world. However, I completely bonded with S and H was a little slower. My anxiety issues also came out so I really didn't trust many with S, so H and I were rarely alone. As time went on, H withdrew more. He says he felt like a third wheel. I saw it as H not wanting to be with us. I always felt like we were a burden to H, that he really wasn't enjoying doing the things you do with a kid. He would suggest doing adult only stuff, but I didn't like leaving S, separation anxiety. That really hasn't changed much! Lol. So, our connection died and I think it also did between H and S. It got worse at BD. For the first time, and it may be because S is getting older, but I see a real connection happening with them. H has always loved S very much, but it was almost like he really didn't know how to do this "dad" thing. His mother has even commented a couple of times that H just doesn't seem to know what to do with S.

It warms my heart and is something I have always wanted for them. I encourage H and make sure to let him know when he does something good with S or if S says something good about him. I see in H's eyes how much it means to him. They are having fun, but I see S getting the daddy stuff he needs too. Definitely a connection going on between them.