I'm new and I'd like some help

[richn05]

Ok thanks for the insight all though I am new to the forum I have been dealing with this for the past year, I never thought me
and my wife would be here,
last fall I discovered shed been talking to someone when I confronted her she said it was someone she'd was dependent on for emotional support?

She had began spending a lot if time with these two new girlfriends from work and she'd always been kind if a social party type but these two women became everything to her she completely cut every other friend out and these two women are wild ones divorced
and the other is married but I suspect she's had extramarital affairs needless to say I think they've been a huge influence in her recent actions,
oh and I left something out before the discovery of the first of what would be several op she developed relationships with over the next few months,
I started receiving anyonomous letters in the mail at work and home telling me "she's cheating on you" when I confronted her about the letters she explained that they must of been from a friend that she's had a falling out with and was doing it out of spite
and I was i believed her bit needless to say it caused some problems between us, there was always that doubt then after a night out with her new "girls" I discovered shed been talking to someone saved in her phone as "Jane"@2am that was the first of what I thought was an isolated incident,
I was enraged,
furious the next day she says I don't know if I want to be married to you anymore and " I can't promise you anything " like any other husband I panicked I didn't know what to do we said we'd take it day by day,

I had to know who "Jane" was so I was always snooping then I found him I discovered it was an old friend so I thought after seeing her text to this om but when I confronted her about it it wasn't "Jane" them in the coming months I found another guy she had made a date with but didn't go,

anyway of course I was hurt by the other people but I figured it was just a phase and it was a attention thing because we still sees to be close
and had a good sex life so I set out to fix it I coveted her more that ever took extra time off work for date nights planned to sweep her off her feet again and show her how much I loved her and after the holidays
and celebrating our anniversary in January I began to let my guard down and thought the marriage was back on track,

them in February she went on a cruise with her girls ( they planned this trip over a year ago ) she came back and my worse fears are now a true she tells me she met someone on the cruise and would've slept with him had she not been married
and I was unfair to me and she didn't want to be married anymore and couldn't be my wife right now ,
she has completely cut me off physically and moved upstairs with the kids, again I couldn't take it and had to know who the op was ,
he lives up north and apparently she's really into him,
she began talking to him on the phone blanltly on my face,
I've backed off and given her space but I don't think that's enough and it wasn't now,
this weekend she went to visit him
and I'm sure they've become physical ( she doesn't know I know that's where she's been )
and I fear things are to far gone,
I know it's a lot to take in but I really wanted to let all this out , I don't know what to do at this point,
I want to save the marriage but I feel she's just stringing me along !

I don't know what to do ,
I'm trying to do the 180 and show her I changing but I know that's more for me, we're still living together and have two small children I don't know what to do if I should leave or stay how do I cut her off and show her loss without losing her and my children,
if I leave she'll always be able to say I leafy but how do I cutoff the relationship to make her feel like She's lost me! I'm just confused just don't know the next step I'm still doing little things and being supportive but I guess that's the wrong way according to sandy please help !