Wond, You are so right that we don't know what we will do until in a situation. We used to laugh and tell the kids that we'd never divorce. It would be 20 paces on the front lawn. My oldest mentioned that to me a while back. I just laughed and said, you never know what you will do.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
What a wise statement about "choices". It was short and top the point. I tried one time to try to talk to someone about "choosing to love" and they just didn't get it. I'm not the best at expressing myself
Sorry Cathy for hijacking your thread. Hang in there. I've applied for a new job at a country club. If I get it, I can play 2x a week for free and it will get me away from H's area of town.
Hugs,
Mary
"God, help me keep my head up, my heart open, and know I'll always be guided along the path."
Quote: I would have never believed i'd stand by him this long, but I see him in there struggling. And I believe he's a good man who's gotten very lost. Some people get that, some don't.
I, too, feel about my H as you do about your H. My H is really messed up and thinks alcohol is the answer.
I came on this morning feeling very lost, very confused about a lot of things. Had this feeling of dread after reading a few threads. Don't really know why either.
So I called H to see how he was today, how is day was going. We talked about the job he's at, about how busy he is/isn't.
Asked him if he'd pick up S after work as I have a haircut appt. I just needed to know that H wasn't against me today or maybe that he wasn't withdrawing, that my mind was just playing tricks on me. Just needed to talk to H.
I had mentioned to H that I was going to stop in at his local saloon tomorrow night...what with it being St. Pat's day and H is very Irish. I don't know if he liked the idea or not. OW bartends there once in awhile, his drinking buddies hang out there..so not sure what I'll be walking into if I do stop in.
H then asked me why I was calling? I said to see how his day was going. H thought I was calling to tell him I had some basketball tickets for him.
I think I just did a good thing here, called H to talk to HIM, not for any other reason. Possibly made H feel good, I feel better now.
Some days I just need chocolate. Save save it for my afternoons usually, once in awhile have in the mornings. TODAY is a chocolate morning. And I feel better!
You have a great a life, working at a country club. Maybe when I retire. My S4 will be starting high school about that time and it would be nice to work part-time and golf the other time. Need to keep on eye on that boy.
The "choosing to love" concept was new to me not too long ago. It took a lot of soul searching/pondering for it to finally make sense. When we say it to another person, unless they already know this, it will take them awhile to figure it out, too.
Like you, I was feeling a little lost this morning. And a few people helped me feel better. So I went on to spread some good on the BB, unfortunately, that did not happen.
Sorry this whole thing made you feel even more lost.
But, goes to prove that people should find out what someone "means" when they post things, before they jump. This is what happened and before we all knew it, there were hurt feelings.
I'm glad you called your H! You should! You are still in the "back off" mode. And you don't need to be! There is no harm in calling and uplifting your H and you! Go girl!
Ate almost half a pound, but it made a difference today!
H calls after he's done with work. Wanted to see if I had found tickets. I then reminded him of haircut. H said what did you just think of it or why didn't you tell me sooner. I thanked him for agreeing to pick up S, H just hangs up without saying goodbye.
So I did that, came home S and H are in the yard playing ball. I come in start to make supper. H and S come in, H looks at the stove wants to know what I'm making then says don't make me any. Said he was leaving. I said where are you going, H said he had things to do. I then begin to put away what I was making becuase I wasn't going to make it for myself and S. H said make it, you guys can eat it. I said no, I'll make something else for S. H avoids all eye contact.
So H just leaves... So here I sit wondering now what happened?
Oops was just remembering KAW's worm..I guess we're in a flat spot... or a bump? Maybe he went back into the tunnel for a bit..
Quote: I think I just did a good thing here, called H to talk to HIM, not for any other reason. Possibly made H feel good, I feel better now.
I think that IS good. If you both felt better after your chat, that's a good step.
Just be careful not to get too caught up in what he is doing, thinking, saying. You need to be putting some of that time & energy into Cathy. I have a friend who says we are like a big pitcher of Kool-Aid ... pouring out what we have to others... and if we don't remember to make more for the pitcher, soon it is enpty and we have nothing to give... and if we water it down because we're too busy to make the real stuff, then we're giving out watered down "us". I liked her analogy even though I'd be hard pressed to drink Kool Aid myself... take care of yourself.
If you don't mind me saying...make that dinner just for you and S. The two of you deserve a just as nice a dinner. Let H be.
I admit I don't know a whole lot about the alcoholic thing--my H doesn't really drink very often and it was one of the things that I liked about him. I did grow up with an alcoholic who never admitted he was one and I remember my mom being very concerned about his reactions... and that is normal and natural and expected. But it made her a wreck sometimes, and us too.
Some days I just need chocolate. Save save it for my afternoons usually, once in awhile have in the mornings. TODAY is a chocolate morning. And I feel better!
This made me laugh! I went on a truffle binge a while back... and my friends were no help...they kept buying me boxes of truffles!
Now in my office, the asst. to our dept. keeps "the chocolate". She brings it to all meetings and she gauges our moods on how soon in the day we hit her tin looking for our little chocolate fix. Can you tell my dept. is all women?
or a bump?