Just come back from cinema with the kids. The end of the film was very sentimental, made me think of W, our family. At times I do want to scream out that I love her. At other times I imagine her being intimate with OM and it scars my soul. Having no children would make a world of difference. But we do, and I wouldn't change that for the world, but I absolutely hate this situation. I'm getting all this out here so I'm cleansed before seeing W tomorrow.
Short respite now before out all afternoon with kids. It's lovely and sunny here. Going to sister's house then park. Gonna have a bit of a party. The kids will love it. I will enjoy the adult company.
I just erased a paragraph of soppy nonesense. I still have bouts of longing for W, tho not as frequent or as intense as before, but I'm trying desperately hard to be responsible for my own happiness.
I am a good person. I plan to display my best aspects as much as possible from now on. This is not for my W, indeed, contact with her is at an all time low frequency. No, this is for me...to be the best person I can be!
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
