hold on! - 9

[u-turn]

She has mentioned MC but has not pushed for it. I believe that if I pushed, she may go. I think that might be a waste right now though.

We still eat dinner together almost every day and we will go to kids events together. We are tending to do things separately with them though. Again, I think if I were to join in on fun family time, it would be ok with her.

About attraction: I have learned that she is attracted to confidence, decisiveness, positive attitude and strength. Though these have not always been my greatest attributes, I have improved. She was attracted to me or at least liked me when I took care of her after her arrest. She likes me when I keep her secrets and protects her image.

I probably sound like I've turned into a jerk, but I believe that if I do not change the dynamic of the situation, she will continue to play this double life and want to just play happy family.

I look at her when she is playing super mom with the kids and I get angry - I feel like she is scoring points with them and pushing me out (possibly in case of some custody decisions).

I feel that I can attract her, but that would just put me in or keep me in her game - and I often think this is just a game to her.

Do you think that I am just jaded and not letting her back in because of it?

note: I think she is awaiting me to file for divorce - she asked me if I have seen a lawyer. (Maybe this is all she's waiting for)

(sorry for this choppy post - I had it written pretty well last night and my phone crashed)

Thanks MrBond!