It's a nightmare. Wake me up.

[BW911]

Koalada.... you're not feeling anything different than most of us have felt and/or are feeling currently. The anger...... will get you no where. The sadness..... while it can feel good to curl up in a ball and wallow in it...... it too will get you no where. However, just like was advised to me, you gotta live in it. You have to sit in it and feel it and deal with it. Its not easy, it won't be easy, and it will not be fun. HOWEVER..... over time..... it will get easier to deal with. But not right now... right now its fresh and it hurts. But this time, THIS TIME, is crucial. DO NOT ACT on emotions. Don't do anything rash, don't say anything rash, keep it together and keep yourself in check. Because right now, you can do and say things that can be COMPLETELY counter productive.

You HAVE to look at what got you to where you are at now. What led up to it? What part did you play and have you taken responsibility for your part? Only after that, and after forgiving yourself for your part and for maybe even asking for forgiveness from her for your part, can you truly start healing.

Keep your chin up brother. You are NOT alone in this. I may be an ocean away, but I understand what you are saying and what you are going through. Stay calm, cool, collected and positive.