MLC? Let it Be.

[LiveNow]

Wow, holidays still kill me, almost 2 years later. That was lousy. I am so grateful for my family and friends always including me and keeping me busy. Don't get me wrong, I had a nice day yesterday. But the pain is just not going away just yet. Most days I'm doing fine, having some fun even. But it just keeps catching up to me. I still (regularly, although longer in between now) feel like I need to let loose with both anger and tears, and I do. But there is still the nagging desire to BREAK something. And after all this time, I STILL have not yelled at him. I so want to get this out! Or really throw something that will make a very satisfying loud crash/splinter. I know DBing is all about STFU, but really? To never really let him know just how this has affected me? Never? I truly don't think he knows. It's this unsaid thing that has to be SAID. If it doesn't, it's going to keep growing, and cause me an ulcer, or worse, someday. Never mind the fact that he probably doesn't care. I feel like I let him off SO incredibly easy. He did whatever the h3ll he wanted for 2 years. And I am supposed to just walk away and be compassionate? Why am I having such a hard time with this? Boy, I hope tomorrow is a better day. I think I'm starting to stress because the move is coming soon. This house will sell in the next few weeks...

I did have another date last week. Fun one. Nice guy. I think we both felt there wasn't a spark, though, so that's ok. Nice to just go out and talk so someone new...

I hope everyone had a good Easter.