Yup, it stands for Rising Above It - I

[Mozza]

You do sound exhausted, RAI. No wonder. You're going through so much. There's the BD and then there is a lot to reflect upon your own nature. And in the middle of it all, you have to exert unprecedented control on your own behavior. Give yourself some credit. You're not doing so bad. Keep swimming.

You mention that you made tons of phone calls for the mediation appointment. I suspect it's the Nice Guy in you. When W told you that she can't hold the appointment, you could have told her "Well, if you can't let me know and make sure to call the mediator." It's a crisis of her own making: don't step in to bear the consequences. Remember that it's about re-creating attraction.

As for your talk with her, I just don't know. Are you telling us that the recent developments (texts) mean that YOU really want to move on with the dissolution process? That's perfectly fine. I'm just checking that you're not getting it to get a response out of her. I don't get all the details of your conversation today, but generally avoid getting heated - leave the room if necessary - and never make ultimatums that you can't enforce. That's very weak.

Finally, about the snooping. It's not all bad. It's good in the beginning to know what you are dealing with. Starsky309 might come over to give you his idea about it, because he advocates some information gathering. But once you know what is going on, to what extent, etc. then more snooping is just meant to gather the painful information. Give it up. So, do you feel you really know what's going on with your W?