It's a nightmare. Wake me up.

[MrBond]

"Mr. Bond, I have no idea what you want from me."

There's nothing I "want" from you. I'm just going over points about your situation that you seem to be missing.

"Would you mind to be less straight with your approach? I am in a situation where I need someone who picks me up where I am and not where I should be."

You'll find lots of friends and family that will help sympathize with your situation. While they're intentions are great and will make you feel better, it won't help your situation. That's what we're here for.

We ALL sympathize with you. We've ALL been in your shoes. And I understand the pain and frustration you're going through. I went through it for almost 5 years. So I get it. And it comes down to this. Do you want sympathy or solutions?

"I am reading those books, but that does not mean that I can apply everything over night. Especially if different books offer different advice."

And that's where I was trying to clarify things. You're confusing yourself with all the different plans and tactics from different sources. Stick with DB and create a plan from that. Right now you're just confusing yourself and it's making you paranoid. We've all been there.

"I am a novice in this and do my best. I am not a professional, dealing with stuff like this for a long time. When I read your posts, I am afraid of asking any questions."

That's all on you. There's no right or wrong answer. But you have to get rid of this fear you have of doing the "right" thing. You're afraid of pushing your W away. That's what you have to get over to come up on top.

"I really want to understand what is going on in her and do my part to save this marriage."

See that's what you don't get. You can't change her. You can only change yourself. And with those changes, only change what you WANT to change and what you NEED to change. Don't change based on her whims. You'll find out that once you think you've "changed" what she criticized about you, she'll turn it around and criticize you for something else. You'll be running around in circles based on what she says.

Learn to listen to the important nuggets she says and change those issues.

"That's why I am here. I am reading everyday the threads of others, read books and really want to understand."

Every situation is different. You can see patterns in people's threads, but don't think they're all universal and can be applied to yours.