Hugs Totite, maybe we can chat later tonight?

Quote:

Another thing to think about, is that he may act out a bit as he considers his own mortality.



And I think this is what happened last night.

Here we go again folks! The "DRAMA CONTINUES" that the name of my story.

I’m hesitant to post about last night, but I will since other perspectives might see what I am missing. It's nonstop excitement

H called to let me know he wouldn’t be picking S up from daycare. I said fine, he was headed to drink. Wouldn’t tell me where HE was going, but I figured it out. I’m so smart aren’t I?? LOL

About 9ish last night I get a call from H. He’s too drunk to drive, says he’s going to OW’s house since it’s closer to where he is at. I said why are you going there and where are you? H wouldn’t say, but again said he’s going there. I told him to come home. “home where is that” he says. In mind I’m thinking I need to go pick H up, but if he’s way over by OW. I had no control over what H was going to do.

H also asked what I kept forgiving him? I didn’t have a chance to respond as he moved onto why he moved back home. To try to make our marriage work and that he didn't want to end up like another couple we know, they drink and fight all the time.

H then starts talking about all the stuff that happened to cause his unhappiness at home, why he left, how it just happened with H and OW. I mostly listened, he’s still living the past. How he wasn’t happy for three years, blah, blah, blah.

Questioned why when he was drunk did he go to OW. That when he’s drunk he wants to be with her, but when he sober comes to me and S. That maybe his unconscious is telling him he’s meant to be with OW?

Also went into how OW is a good person, but people are giving her a hard time about their R. OW’s having a hard time right now, from what other people are saying. I listened again as it seems THEY as OW/H just don’t get it. And that OW loves my H.

H shared that OW told H that she wanted him to be happy and that he should move on with his life. Well of course she’s telling H to move on, she has no clue as to what my H’s unhappiness is really all about. Move on/in with her is what she means.

I said he needs to make a decision and go with it and then live his life.
H then went on to say it is on his mind all the time, what should he do, what should he do. At one point said he just wanted to shoot himself and I said well then you need to get help if you feel that way. That he wasn’t happy.

I said to H “so what you’re saying if you’re with us or OW you’re still not going to be happy and H said “right.”

I eventually asked him again where he was and he told me in the parking lot of bar which is closer to OUR house than OW’s. H said I’m sitting here deciding where I’m going. I said so where are you going? H wouldn’t say.

We then got into a discussion about how I couldn’t control our S and it seems like that’s a big reason H is staying with us. Yes I do have a hard time with S, but in thinking back over the last year, S’s life hasn’t been that stable and this is what S needs the most. Stability, a father who is going to be there every night, not drinking and then coming home and disrupting S’s bedtime and S’s life.

Eventually said he had to go as he was driving and hung up. So I’m thinking, this is the end of he goes to OW’s then that is where he’s meant to be. I was feeling stronger by then and also tired of all of this nonsense of his.

Then S said he wanted to wait up till dad got home and I’m thinking dad won’t be home, so I told S he was going to be late and that he should go to bed. S asked if he could sleep with me and I said yes that would be fine.

I was doing something in the kitchen about five minutes after H hung up heard the garage door open and it’s H. He had been driving home the whole time he had been talking to me.

When he walks in the door I gave him a hug, told H I didn’t care if he wanted one or not. H didn’t hug me back, but I didn’t care.

H was being a real Horse A** last night as he is when he’s been drinking. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

For those who made it to the end of this post, please help me....

Cathy

P.S. Lot of praying today. Yesterday I was just lost emotionally and now today I'm stronger again. Found my footing and my purpose.