... ... ... And a few more thoughts now that I've had more time to reflect on our meetup:
- H sounded pretty resolute that he doesn't want a romantic relationship with me. I know most of you have been here before and you've managed to keep on keeping on. This was a first for me. At BD he "didn't know what the outcome would be.”
AT BD, I got don't know the outcome. Then two weeks later I got the "no way we're getting back together" and then I got "I'm open to whatever happens in the future" and then lather, rinse repeat. For six months. That's just my sitch, and I attribute it alot to H's depression and people pleasing and just inability to make a decision in life right now.
Now, having said that -- with the amount of NC, your H may indeed be resolute that he doesn't want a romantic relationship. Can you remind me why you went so long between contact? If I remember correctly, didn't he suggest it?
Quote:
- seems like H might not have actually researched D yet as he referred to June as the date we can file when actually you can file something like 28 days before the 12 month anniversary after separation
I wouldn't read too much into this. My H dropped bomb #768743523497 in MC that he was going to file for divorce from me, in October, and that he thought that, "I should know." And my retort was....we have to be separated for a year before you can do that. And when my MIL said the same thing to me? That was my same retort. Maybe they just make assumptions, maybe they don't know. Maybe they are clueless.
Quote:
- I am not happy with the way I conducted myself the other night. I managed to STFU to a point but then the reptile brain kicked in when I felt H slipping away. I became flooded and said things I shouldn't have (which resulted in him feeling like I was blaming him and no doubt triggered negative emotions in him). I really need to address this. I need to get back into my yoga and meditation practice and be more self-aware. I slipped when I went to Europe.
Address with him or yourself?
Quote:
- I think my optimistic nature is interfering with my ability to accept the situation for what it is. I've spent the last few days trying to remind myself of H's words (he doesn't want a romantic relationship with me) whenever feelings of hope return
*hug*
So, having thought over things, is there anything else you'd want to do, or do differently? I'm a no regrets type gal -- so I always think that way. Are you at peace with it all should the path continue this way?
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15
