I'm going to take a wild swing at the vets commenting thing. I notice that for the most part they tend to filter out to the people they can connect with and who really benefit from their guidance.
Whenever someone needs help with scripting and validation Wonka appears, if someone is wrestling with wet noodle then starsky is normally around. Labug and Underdog really seem to be cheerleaders for that introspection and self improve journey. And so on...
I think its something like that saying about help will appear when you are ready to receive it. (Anyways I suspect they read a lot more than they post and if you are reading then a big Thank you to all)
One thing that is common is that the more contact with the WAS there is, the more people can give views and advice.
So back to you. Well there's a lot of positive to say about you which you can learn just from your posts. Given the way you don't contact him , lead a interesting life and have improved as a person then to me that says your situation is more about him than you or your M.
And unfortunately there's no advice we can give you to deal with his issues.
I appreciate this all might sound a bit pessimistic or like I'm saying its hopeless but its not. Just saying that you can only control one side of the equation.
As for the optimism, well that's a good thing. But see if you can shift its focus to be optimistic about YOU and YOUR future irrespective of your H. You'll be fine and it'll be good because you already are and it already is.
By the way the UK is beautifully sunny at the moment.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
