Letting go Qs

[Kramer]

Closer:

A quick recap. I came into the relationship with 4 kids. She came in with 4 kids. We adopted her niece at 4 years of age. My kids split their time with me in California and their mother in oregon. Her kids have been with us the whole time.

My children are all married with their own kids now, and live in Oregon. I have 8 beautiful grandchildren from them. Up until BD, my wife and I saw them 3-4 times per year. They were extremely close to my wife, even more so than their bio mom. My wife has not contacted them since I discovered affair on New Years Eve. They are quite devastated with her actions and her ignoring them.

My wife's 4 children are 17, 19, 19, and 23. Her niece is 18. The youngest (17) is living with her, and is firmly in her camp. He had many legal issues with truancy, drugs, and threatening to kill his brother and mother last year. I advocated tough love and set firm boundaries, and he is angry with me because of it. Her 23 year old son is disgusted with her behavior, and spends a lot of time with me. The 19 year old twin boys are also upset with her. One of them moved in with his bio father and the other lives with his girlfriend. They are expecting a baby in the next 3 weeks. Finally, her niece doesn't want anything to do with her. She has chosen to live with me.

I still do family dinners with them on Sunday's (not with my wife). I have kept open communication with them and they know that I love their mother, and do not want this divorce.

So there you go. A quick readers digest recap of our chaotic life and family. Drama? Oh yes, there is MUCH of that. This guy has no clue just how much, because my wife keeps both families separate. Her kids all want to punch him in the face. I have steered clear of any communication with him, other than my initial emails to him on NYE when I found out. Basically, I called him a predator. No communication since.

I'm sure my wife will do everything in her power to bide her time and keep the relationship alive. He is rich, drives a MB and a Maserati, lives in a mini mansion, and is single with 3 young children who need a mother. My wife was never materialistic until now, and her whole wardrobe and demeanor have changed.