Remind her that you won't fail again to protect her. That her relationship with OM is just another form of escape and addiction. That you have no intention of being "controlling" but rather you are exercising "protection". OM is unhealthy for and destructive to her...just as alcohol is/was. You don't quit alcohol by hanging out in bars and others drinking and you don't quit OM by continuing to chat and be friendly with him.
This makes sense, and I will. That was one thing I was thinking and trying to allude to when staying up with her last night when she mentioned she wanted to die. She will not want to hear that OM is "unhealthy" and an "addiction," but it is true. She will not have much, if anything, with him.
Originally Posted By: Georgia Bulldogs
BTW. Turning off the internet is perfectly justifiable in this situation. It's not overly controlling. She is free to walk out the door and speak to OM any way she wants but she's not gonna do it on your dime and in your home.
I agree, and actually MIL is in full agreement, too. One other thing that she mentioned to me, was that both her and W's sister have said "If it is a choice between you and W, we choose you." That was reassuring.
Originally Posted By: Georgia Bulldogs
For years your wife's primary relationship was alcohol. Getting that under control is a huge accomplishment but very often having to face real relationships as a sober person is difficult without the crutch of alcohol. I am not a fan of co-ed AA meetings. Dangerous places of too much sharing between married persons with opposite sex persons not their spouse.
This is something I have realized, and actually read up on when I was looking at AA spousal support material. I am in full agreement with you on the dangers of co-ed AA meetings, considering I am experiencing it now. They even tell everyone new, up front, to not get involved with the opposite sex given the very open nature of it, and continually tried to warn them. Interesting how the impulsive addictive mind works.
