Focused on Me and My Son 2

[Sherman333]

No for the not so fun stuff from last night. I'm mainly just blogging for future reference.

STBXW is still taking pot shots at me for the DRAFT agreement about visitation times. She's focused on the 8:00 p.m. drop off time and I didn't get back until 8:04 p.m. from yesterday. She's never been able to hit a time but expects everyone else to be on time for her. She expects that my weekend ends when we get home. That I can't exclude her from our son.

She's stating she'll be taking him away so I don't get to see him at all on "her" weekends, but not to some guy's house. When I have him we're home every night by bedtime... An overnight (except for the bug-out event) was always communicated in advance. The way I see great... she'll need to be mom and that will get old for her.

She says I'm being unfair because I have a TV upstairs.


The rest of the night is focused on asset division. She's focused on splitting EVERY LITTLE thing. That we should add every little thing up and split it.

I told her to put whatever she wants on her list and we'll discuss it. She also expects me to give an amount of half of what I brought into the marriage... which she's not entitled to. It's less than a 10 year marriage and what I brought in I get to leave with.

She expects me to cover $10k of her being upside down on her car due to mileage. I'm upside down by about $7k. Her vehicle is her vehicle and mine is mine. They're in our respective names and I told her to take it up with her lawyer.

She wants me to take on all the debt and pay her a "perceived" equity on the house from when we bought it for. We've only been in the house for 3 years and there's not much.

She made 1/3 of the household income and we've discussed a 2/3 vs. 1/3 split of debt. And if she wants any of the equity, then that would be split the same way... If we go to the judge it would be closer to 50/50 to 2/3-1/3 anyway.

But the house has a lot of unfinished home improvement projects, will need a new roof, the master bath has a leak in ceramic the shower, and she damaged the countertop (so it needs to be remodeled). It will appraise for WAY less than she's expecting.

She's pissed that I'm not touching anything on the house (per my Attorney's advise).

She's threatening to "do what she has to do" with our S7 and running. She keeps telling me that I'm screwing her.

She wants some sort of compensation from me for her 8 years of unhappiness with me. I told her to put a number on it and she can't.

We went through discussing furniture value... It's typically between 1/3 to 1/2 the value new. Tallying it up vs. the debt there's not much there.

She did say she wants to take the master bedroom furniture. That her OM doesn't have a nice set.

The conversation ventured into a little bit of the relationship talk. She did confirm that the OM is her boss. She doesn't think we were ever meant to be together long term and that we were never "friends". She said that her new OM is a lot like me and she finds that the most attractive... go figure.

I did challenge... about how proof of everything she's denying is in the family photos (bad DB). And that she killed things between us years ago with all the personal attacks and crap she pulled. I did catch myself and focused back on moving the Divorce ahead.

She changed topics back to S7, that she can't meet the time and won't be able to see S7.

Then the conversation moved to the EA/PA and how much she lied to me. That I've know how much she lied to me. She claimed it was all "innocent" and just happened. I called bullshit and that it was intentional on her side, but that it didn't matter. Divorce is in the works.

She also started pestering about me doing a bunch of stuff for her on her bills. I told her she needs to take care of all her items herself. I'm giving her fair notice that middle of the month she'll need to get prepared to take on her insurance and her own phone.

She accused me to be the root of her depression that I should have done something different. I flipped it back to her on how she attacks the person and that it killed me. That I withdrew because everything I tried, I got attacked. Her response was that I'm not perfect either and I agreed. From my perspective she did me very wrong. How she killed me being able adopt my foster son.

She told me that she doesn't really know why she's doing this. That I was good to her. I did tell her that she's reenacting her divorce with her 1st husband... sleeping with her boss. And that it will most likely end up the same way.

I disengaged and let her know I want to be done with the conversation and looked for her agreement.



So this a.m. S7 had came to the master bedroom with me again. She started coming upstairs and I told her I was in the bathroom (rooms are partitioned). She got pissy and told me that she had to go to work. And that I could just tell S7 that she wanted to kiss him but would let her etc. I told her to knock it off and that give me a moment.

She came up, kissed S7 and as she was leaving, she told me I got my wish with her boss. That he won't let her move in and that she'll have to get her own place. She knows she can't live on her own with the debt. With what she does, I can only imagine how more annoyed she'll get through the day as she didn't get what she wanted.

My SIL is giving me a hard time about even discussing anything with STBXW. I agree with her partially, but some of this needs to be worked through.

Last night I got 3 things.

• Got her recorded and confirmed who the OM is for after the Divorce. There will be a letter to the corporate office post Divorce. The guy, as head of HR, really crossed the line.
• Got her to agree to additional division of assets
• Got her focused (at least last night about leaving).

There's a few more details here and there. She's bouncing and now she'll probably want the furniture again.

My biggest fear at the moment is that something happens, she looses her job and I'm stuck with her in the basement. Ugh.