Completely Blindsided by Husband's Affair

[Sherman333]

Is it bad of me to take total pleasure in this statement? I want him to be miserable for the pain he's put me through.

I'd say it's a normal human emotion when faced with this. Keep it to yourself though if you can. Otherwise, you're feeding your spouses ego with your emotional energy by being so torn about it.

My biggest worry is that if I detach, it's just going to push him to the other woman.

He's already with the other woman. He's going to want to cake eat too; by having the stability of your home and the affair on the side.

DB and Detaching is for you. It's to help you cope with the roller-coaster that you're on. There are going to be emotional ups and downs. Your spouse won't just wake up and come back, especially if you're not taking steps to be a stronger you. Think of it as getting back to the person you were before the marriage. The strong confident you who enjoys your life.

When I found out my Wife was active in the affair, I moved her stuff and her to the basement bedroom. She flipped about it, but she's still there complaining. She's supposed to move out soon and I personally wish it would happen sooner than later... but that's my situation.