So I am divorced.

[gan]

mahhhty - I'm not very familiar with your sitch but I noticed your comments re sex. I agree that the dynamic that MWD describes is an accurate reflection of what goes on between a high(er)- and low(er)-desire spouse. The Nike slogan bit - I don't find it a very useful recommendation though (as the lower-desire spouse). It certainly didn't help me crack through the issues though I know a lot of therapists say this is the solution.

If you are looking for some more books to read, you might want to check out the stuff by David Schnarch. His books really awakened me to the dynamics in play in relationships (there is a high and low-desire person on every issue in a relationship...not just sex; the low-desire person controls the outcome (just like we are seeing with our WAS now); it takes an act of integrity for the low-desire person to overcome their issues and move the issue forward). In this way, sex is just a manifestation of a larger dynamic. We all have to work through our issues...