Gwen – we are like two peas in a pod, such similar stories, even down to the BD date; we were meant to find each other!!
I get your sadness, the raw pain of not understanding what is going on and why. Why him, why me, why us ….unfortunately we cannot predict who will be affected by this midlife questioning – it seems that it does not matter if you had the best marriage in the world, it can still come and get you.
Don’t beat yourself up about your email to your h; this NC thing is so hard, it’s easy to succumb to temptation – the need to know if anything has changed draws us in. It is something I wrangle with too; in the past I have written it out first on the computer, let it sit overnight, normally that sees me delete it in the morning. I also look at it and ask myself – am I prepared for the possible response to this and of course there is job, always in my head with “its pursuing, don’t do it” lol. So draw a line under it and move on.
Leave him to his toy box and keep the focus on you and your girls, for you are what is important now.
My friend – we deserve more, we are worth more and we certainly are stronger than these weak men that came in to our lives and broke our hearts. You will be ok and have faith that everything will turn out just as it should be – with you happy and content with your life again.
