Cherry, I understand your pain today. It sounds like the exact same situation I had yesterday. Took kids to an egg hunt and afterwards things just hit me extremely hard out of no where. I think its just because its a family event and subconsciously you know something is missing.
For me it was even near a park/dock that me and W went to when we first started dating 11 years ago. Had the same thoughts as you afterwards also, that I would do anything to get her back, hold her, kiss her, be with her. Its rough :'(
Stay strong, we can do this. Some days will hit us harder than others, we pick ourselves up and keep going. We have to.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Thanks all. Yeah I was real tempted to pour my heart out but before I did- I thought is this gonna work? No. He doesn't want to hear it. I held myself together, and went home and found things to busy myself with. I guess the advantages of having a young baby is I don't get a minute to myself!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Cherry. I dealt with the same kind of feelings yesterday. I had my boys with me out at a big easter egg hunt and..... like you BAM. Instantly feeling horrible, seeing all the families out enjoying each other and laughing and here I was, essentially a single dad, and his 2 boys with no spouse in sight.
But, I took heart in the fact that I was with them and enjoyed being with them. Focusing on them helped pull me out of that funk pretty quick.
Hang in there Cherry, and I agree, pouring your heart out probably wouldn't be a good idea. I personally sent a text today wishing a happy easter to her, but that was it.
Me-35 W- 30 Married Jul 2010
S - 4 BD - 23 Mar 15 I responded to filing 27 Mar 15 OM suspected in Feb OM confirmed 7 Apr
Song Casting crowns - Broken together (amazing song check it out on youtube)
You seem to be staying strong though and that seems really great! I need to remind myself to stop and ask "is this going to help" like you did more often.
Me:33 W:34 T:13 M:8.5 D mentioned & S 2/13/15 "We can never get back together" 4/2/15 Visited & Mentioned she hasn't filed 4/20/15 "I want to have cats back" 5/4/15 Served D papers 5/8/15
If you are able to have such great self control on a day that is a special occasion by asking yourself 'is this going to help?' then I think you're showing that you are on the right path to being the best person you can be. Well done! It may seem small but that is quite a big accomplishment. Keep it up!
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
Cherry, I'm sorry that today is not a good day. It was rough for me to go to church this morning and have everyone ask where my H was. It is awesome that you came on here and talked rather than talking to your H. Kudos to you!!!
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Thanks all. It's so difficult I guess holidays and anniversaries are going to be tough for us all . Just another day I guess. But it was seeing families that got to me too. Makes you really miss your other half.
He is going to regret missing these moments with baby if nothing else. But I don't tell him that. I just hope he realises before too long
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Seeing all the families together was incredibly hard. But I can only imagine how much harder it must for you having the baby around.
At my church there's a moment where children bring up offerings of canned foods for collection.
One of the last ones to run up was a girl with my W's hair and my eyes. Seeing her immediately brought me to tears thinking of the child we might never have together.
Me:33 W:34 T:13 M:8.5 D mentioned & S 2/13/15 "We can never get back together" 4/2/15 Visited & Mentioned she hasn't filed 4/20/15 "I want to have cats back" 5/4/15 Served D papers 5/8/15
I presume this isn't what you want. And I think it would be fine to clarify - H, D isn't what I want. But if we do D, I wouldn't want us to live together and be friends. I would move on and hopefully meet someone else to share my life.
Cherry, I agree with Toots on this. I wouldn't bring it up to him out of the blue. However, if/when he mentions it again tell him that you don't want what he's propsing. My H went on that crazy train too. We had one really bizarre night where he was all over the place wanting to break up, but stay great friends who still hung out one and one. I was very clear with him that while I did not want a D, if that happened we would not be hanging out and talking all the time. We'd be friendly as coparents. Not friends that hang out one on one. They WAS needs to understand that they can't have both worlds. They are either committed to the M or in friendly neighbor territory. Be calm and clear when you address it. Strong and confident is very attractive.
I'm sorry you're having a rough weekend. Have a glass of wine and bubble bath after baby goes to bed, or listen to some feel good music. Whatever helps to take your mind off the situation.
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
