In my m I did often threaten to leave. On each major blow up or event I knew it was t heathy the stand overs that nasty behaivour (without being to specific) there was plenty.

The punishments, where h would say I didn't meet your need because you behaved badly. Or you didn't measure up. Then later h blamed others totally, me s17, his s25! His mother, the ow you name it he's blamed it.

I was trying in my way rightly or wrongly to change the patterns, his biggest compliant was I had changed. Then in the next breath stated like most here that change was for life so things would only work out with ow!

When they start controling you down it will eventually decend to hitting, when it's not enough. Hence my h assulted s17, I do not doubt I would have been next. His script was she left me, but justifies the assult as perfectly fine. He left me with no other options, to be safe I had to leave. H had to start the pattern again, with ow to prove himself right and good, thus me bad and wrong. His whole justification upon which his, life is built.

People eat up the justifications, due to h good works. Churchy community minded folks don't asult with out being right! I have neighbours stop and bail me up to defend h and his actions. Which h feeds on.

The hardest thing I had to do was look at h actions past his lip service words and see how little h actually put forward. Nc helped, it's also helped me to death from it so now for the most part I can talk share and help you others on that same journey without becoming a blubbering mess.

I was independant in my first marriage, very. To gave that stripped was demeaning.

My goal is to do all those thing h said I was no good at and prove I can and I'm great.
whistlesome of the craze stuff he said I couldn't do, had been proven total crap.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26