Confused 4

[Joe46]

Thank You Wonka! Hope you had a good Holiday weekend also. We had a good dinner today. W sometimes seemed happy, sometimes seemed distant. I'm sure she is thinking of her mom today. It has been a long time since she has been home to see them.

Currently I am assistant manager at a lumberyard here in town. I handle contractor sales, bids and other building sales. Have been here for 9 1/2 years. I really like it. I have a good boss who is big on family. I can go to all my kids events. I am not working to death on the ranch. I get paid good. I help alot of people out. Plus I have a retirement now. There are SO many things I have been able to be involved in with the kids that I would have missed if I was still ranching.

One other piece of information that might be useful. About 6 years ago we had to file chapter 13 bankruptcy due to huge medical bills from my surgery. I was not making big enough payments to make them happy. Any way, we had been sending in our mortgage payments in the form of a money order. In Feb 2014, I got a call from the attorney asking if we wanted to keep our house. I said of course I do. She asked why we are missing 22 payments. I said that she was crazy. I had bought money orders myself and had wife mail them in. Attorney said they had been sending notices for 6 months. I told her we never got anything. So we were in this huge battle with mortgage company and attorney and us over the missing payments. I finally sent in some copies to find out if they were cashed. Lady at post office called and said she put the information in our box. Wife says she never got anything. I paid to have it done again and had post office hold info for me to pick up. My suspicions were correct. W had been cashing the money orders and keeping the money.

I waited till I was good and calm and confronted her. She said that her sales at home had not been doing well and needed the money to pay the bills. I told her if it was this bad, why didn't she say something. She says she tried, but I would not listen. I told her, I know we have talked about how tight things were, but you never said this was what you were having to do. She said she really learned her lesson about communicating better about these things and I said I need to try and listen better. Any way the house is being foreclosed. Doesn't hurt her much. It is in my name. Right around the time all these mortgage problems started is when she started acting funny. Than after we had our big talk about it, she seemed like her old self for awhile. We actually seemed closer. She was cuddling with me more and we ML more. Than when I started having problems with her job, things started going down hill again. I tried for so long to just change my thinking. Why do I feel so insecure about this job? It is all me. I shouldn't let this bother me. You know what, it does! I don't like it! It hurts me! I want the woman back that used to tell me that I was the only man she ever wanted to be with in that way. The one that told me how happy she was with me!
Holiday really make you think about these things. I think I did okay today though. She did seem to have hard time looking at me today. She was very quiet.