Maybe one of these times when he says that, ask him why he keeps saying that. Tell him that you don't want him to leave, but if that is what he wants, then go.
It just seems like he says this like a child would be saying these kind of things in order to get attention or confirmation that you want him there. You know like someone who keeps calling themselves stupid or putting themselves down.
Basically it seems like he is crying out to you to tell him that you want him to stay and that you need him there. Everyone wants to be needed and he may not be feeling like he is needed. The OW is making it very clear to him that she needs him. That her life is a wreck and that it isn't the same without him in it.
Did you ever think that that is what he is asking you for? He sees you as independent doing things on your own and having friends that you are going with and so forth. He almost sounds like he is jealous of the life you have because you can survive with or without him. He knows this beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Now he has to feel that you need and want him around. That is what he is fishing for. You have to make him feel needed, appreciated and admired. This does not mean for you to bend over backwards kissing his butt.
Think about this for a minute, as your son gets older, he needs you to do less and less for him. He becomes less and less dependent upon you. For most mothers, it is an adjustment and letting go sometimes is very painful, but yet your son still makes it very clear to you that he needs you, admires you, and appreciates you in different little ways.
That is what you husband is wanting from you. The OW gives this to him even though it is in a sick sort of way. He knows that she needs him because her life isn't the same without him.
He keeps saying this, because he is trying to get something from you and I don't think that it is an attack from you. It does bother you in some sort of way because it wouldn't stick in your head if it didn't. It is making you feel insecure at this time and he is having the same insecurities right now. So keep building him up and filling him up with love.
