Validating WW about her mom and the kids grandma is a very empathetic thing to do. You are validating her feelings which in this case you agree. Validating is acknowledging the feelings of another, not always agreeing.
When you do agree then you can empathise as well. If it is a boundary issue STFU. For example if W loses her job just say 'really, thanks for telling me " then move on to something else.
My H is very upset that his golfing partner has to be hospitalised for 6 months this year for arthritis in his left leg and next year for his right. New joints in his ankles and knees, his toes will be broken and straightened too. Of course, I will do all I can to support H and encourage him to visit. I believe his concern is genuine, I will see in due course if his concern converts into action.
When H says he is 'ill' I just say ' I can see you feel that way" and in my head I am saying "take charge of your health" and not out loud. I do not agree but I acknowledge.
If H says his POW is no longer interested then "OK". Boundary issue, big big time.
You may be seeing the start of the end of WW job for the time being. Who knows, depends how addicted she is to it. It may be tough to carry on this way in her mums home. Watch and listen carefully to get the Intel, in case WW blags a Motel room near her moms. Intel is all.
I think if I were Joe then I would wait until the grandma issue is resolved a little and WW intends on returning to her life full time, in which case boundary time. By then Joe will have some additional perspective.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 04/05/1503:24 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
