My story

[EyeTie]

I am very proud of myself today. I decided to host Easter at my house and invited about 10 people (friends and family). I heard last night that my WW found out about it, she confided to my cousin that she had no where to go and was hoping that I would extend an invite to her. I honestly came close to doing so, I knew if I saw her this morning, that I would ask her to come over. So instead I sent my cousin to her place to pick up my kids, so I wouldn't have to see her. She can eat a TV dinner for all I care, she has to deal with her own consequences of her decisions and actions.

Otherwise I am doing great! I know I am not ready to date yet, but I am enjoying meeting new people and doing new things. In fact, Friday night I had a few people at my house and one was a girl that I find myself very attracted to. By the end of the night, we were on the couch having a deep conversation about life and relationships (she just got out of a 5 year long relationship recently). Next thing I know she kissed me on the mouth. I wasn't expecting it, but it was incredible. A part of me that I thought was gone all of a sudden awoken. This is the first girl other than my wife I have kissed in over 4 years. Her and I talked yesterday about things and decided it was not a good idea at this point to pursue anything together, other than being friends.

2-3 months ago, when all of this started, I felt worthless. I felt like I would never find another woman. That my confidence was completely shot and I was destined to be alone. Between the 180 and GAL, I realize that things are way better. With or without my WW. Honestly, I still miss her at times, but I don't miss her BS. I don't miss the way she made me feel and anytime I reach for the phone to call her, I think back to those feelings. The lies, the deception, the isolation, the loneliness, the confusion, the heartache and the loss. I then set my phone back down and go do something else. I don't even remember the last time I cried about my marriage falling apart, at least a good month if not longer.

Oh, I also got the all clear from my Doctor recently too! No more cancer treatments, Pfizer saved my life! It's new beginnings for me all across the board and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me!

So to all of you newbies that are going through this, stick it out! It [censored]! It's horrible! But it DOES get better! Take this time to find yourself and you will find happiness! Good luck! I will keep you all updated on my life as the divorce moves forward. Thank you!