I feel the same way. The week I don't have my kids I really struggle to just get thrugh the day. I go through the motions at work, go to the gym so I don't have to go home to an empty house. I do everythnig I can to not go home to the quiet house. It is too much sometimes.
I agree that my goal now is to not be alone, to just be with someone who understands who gets how awful this truly is.
So, now I get to fake it through Easter for my kids, church, brunch, etc... Inside I feel like I am just a robot programmed on automatic. It's been 6 months and while I have some good moments, my overwhelming feeling is just gloom.
Did I describe how you feel too or did I read more into your post?
Several of my friends tell me how their divorced friends remarried within months of their divorce. Or they met their future spouse while their divorce was impending. I just don't understand that at all. I don't think that will happen with me, if ever. Maybe I will just be single for the remaining chapters of my life. Maybe I just have to make peace with that. I will try to be the best Me I can be and to not cry once during the day.
You have not read into my post. That is exactly how I feel. It took me so long to find somebody that I trusted so completely,, and now she has simply annihilated that trust. I fear that I will never get to that point again. I was always guarded with my feelings, and it will be extremely hard, if not impossible, to trust anyone again
I don't want to be alone, but I cannot ever go through this pain again.
Me M51 WW F46 T 17 yrs M 16 yrs 9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17 8 grandchildren ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14 I discover PA 12/31/14 She files D: 1/9/15 She moves out 3/2/15 D papers served 3/18/15
