I feel the same way. The week I don't have my kids I really struggle to just get thrugh the day. I go through the motions at work, go to the gym so I don't have to go home to an empty house. I do everythnig I can to not go home to the quiet house. It is too much sometimes.
I agree that my goal now is to not be alone, to just be with someone who understands who gets how awful this truly is.
So, now I get to fake it through Easter for my kids, church, brunch, etc... Inside I feel like I am just a robot programmed on automatic. It's been 6 months and while I have some good moments, my overwhelming feeling is just gloom.
Did I describe how you feel too or did I read more into your post?
Several of my friends tell me how their divorced friends remarried within months of their divorce. Or they met their future spouse while their divorce was impending. I just don't understand that at all. I don't think that will happen with me, if ever. Maybe I will just be single for the remaining chapters of my life. Maybe I just have to make peace with that. I will try to be the best Me I can be and to not cry once during the day.
