the picture s of the children really brought in a lot of support my side. everyone who has kids could imagine how hurtful it would be. so i am not really suffering from being ostracisezed, fully anyway. BUT it hurts that she is making a mockery out of our marriage. A friend recently had his Mum die. Terribly sad, but similarities with our grief are there. big difference is that he still loves her, and that is fine, he can celebrate the memories, mine are being poisoned.
some supporters are saying dont worry, she will fall flat on her face. karma etc. maybe i shouldn't want that anyway, but I can see that it likely won't happen. This new guy will inherit an improved version of my W, improved at my expense! Same is true of any future R i might have - BUT it was supposed to be with my W dammit.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
...and, I was telling my C how hurt I was that not only was she telling everyone that the M was toxic, she actually seems to believe it herself. WRT other people the C reassured me that whilst some people will just believe it, most others will make up their own mind. they knew us. they will see us going forward etc
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Your health and well being needs to be the fore front in this entire situation. I understand all the thoughts and questions and how could they do this to us and to me and to our kids. I've been there and I am there.
But DB is about GAL, about taking control of your life, and making yourselves strong.
i know. and agree. I and i think Kramer as well, are mainly venting, war wounds etc. the focus is me, and by extension my kids. it was b4 as well. or at least should've been. the M can fit in the middle of this, but that was only ever 50% in my hands at the best of times. the reason this S(->D) is in some ways is a blessing.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Your health and well being needs to be the fore front in this entire situation. I understand all the thoughts and questions and how could they do this to us and to me and to our kids. I've been there and I am there.
But DB is about GAL, about taking control of your life, and making yourselves strong.
and in this aspect, I am failing miserably. I started out well and was GAL and getting stronger each day. Over the last week or so, I just don't care any more. Not about her, about me. I'm just going through the motions. I get up, I go to the gym, I go to work, I come home to an empty house, I go to bed. Repeat 5-7 times per week. Joy.
Me M51 WW F46 T 17 yrs M 16 yrs 9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17 8 grandchildren ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14 I discover PA 12/31/14 She files D: 1/9/15 She moves out 3/2/15 D papers served 3/18/15
probably you should try something different? so it is not the same routine. but I can certainly relate. I have many of those days. pushing through seems like too much work. but there is no real alternative. i have my kids to be strong for. even the outlook there looks bleak. but ya never know. W could get hit by a bus tomorrow friends keep telling me, it WILL change. dont fight it. if you can even help it along the way, thats a bonus. i've just spent the last 20 minutes fuming. Before that I was sad. Knowing that i'm not alone, that others have and are feeling this pain is reassuring in a way. I wish she could feel it. I hope she blows herself up. but it is true. things have changed already. I feel that way less often than i did a month ago. I haven't even really GAL yet. I exercise, i eat and sleep better than I did. I stopped drinking completely. I am in IC. I am pursuing specialists re: a long standing medical condition that I have until now neglected. These are all good - like you going to the gym everyday. But really these things are just filling in the time that I now have. I am thinking about what I really want to DO. I keep coming back to sailing. My friend had a 10 ft sailboat when I was young and I always said I wanted a yacht in preference to a house - until I was in my 20's.My best man chartered a yacht for our wedding present and we sailed it for a week. The best, most relaxing time i have ever had on a holiday. SO i think I will be heading this way. NOT buying a yacht but sailing lessons, hiring, maybe starting out small. we'll see. Is there ANYTHING like that for you?
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
The only thing I want at this stage in my life is to not be alone.
Me M51 WW F46 T 17 yrs M 16 yrs 9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17 8 grandchildren ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14 I discover PA 12/31/14 She files D: 1/9/15 She moves out 3/2/15 D papers served 3/18/15
The only thing I want at this stage in my life is to not be alone.
well i could say YOU"RE NOT. I'm here, we're here. but that isn't very helpful and almost condescending and patronising when you are feeling that way. I know because I feel that way A LOT. ...
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
I feel the same way. The week I don't have my kids I really struggle to just get thrugh the day. I go through the motions at work, go to the gym so I don't have to go home to an empty house. I do everythnig I can to not go home to the quiet house. It is too much sometimes.
I agree that my goal now is to not be alone, to just be with someone who understands who gets how awful this truly is.
So, now I get to fake it through Easter for my kids, church, brunch, etc... Inside I feel like I am just a robot programmed on automatic. It's been 6 months and while I have some good moments, my overwhelming feeling is just gloom.
Did I describe how you feel too or did I read more into your post?
Several of my friends tell me how their divorced friends remarried within months of their divorce. Or they met their future spouse while their divorce was impending. I just don't understand that at all. I don't think that will happen with me, if ever. Maybe I will just be single for the remaining chapters of my life. Maybe I just have to make peace with that. I will try to be the best Me I can be and to not cry once during the day.
I feel the same way. The week I don't have my kids I really struggle to just get thrugh the day. I go through the motions at work, go to the gym so I don't have to go home to an empty house. I do everythnig I can to not go home to the quiet house. It is too much sometimes.
I agree that my goal now is to not be alone, to just be with someone who understands who gets how awful this truly is.
So, now I get to fake it through Easter for my kids, church, brunch, etc... Inside I feel like I am just a robot programmed on automatic. It's been 6 months and while I have some good moments, my overwhelming feeling is just gloom.
Did I describe how you feel too or did I read more into your post?
Several of my friends tell me how their divorced friends remarried within months of their divorce. Or they met their future spouse while their divorce was impending. I just don't understand that at all. I don't think that will happen with me, if ever. Maybe I will just be single for the remaining chapters of my life. Maybe I just have to make peace with that. I will try to be the best Me I can be and to not cry once during the day.
You have not read into my post. That is exactly how I feel. It took me so long to find somebody that I trusted so completely,, and now she has simply annihilated that trust. I fear that I will never get to that point again. I was always guarded with my feelings, and it will be extremely hard, if not impossible, to trust anyone again
I don't want to be alone, but I cannot ever go through this pain again.
Me M51 WW F46 T 17 yrs M 16 yrs 9 children D29 D27 D26 S24 S24 S19 S19 niece18 S17 8 grandchildren ILYBINILWY: 12/15/14 I discover PA 12/31/14 She files D: 1/9/15 She moves out 3/2/15 D papers served 3/18/15
