My fail of sadness....

[Zues126]

BMW- I would really encourage you to read my posts from the beginning. I started posting the week of BD.

I don't know exactly where my nuggets are, but I can promise you that I was the absolute best in the universe at blocking out emotions. I mean, all I did was play pool. Any feelings got stuffed away, then when I felt bad I turned that into a silent rage that I didn't even know was rage because I was numb to it. I just seethed and channeled it into trying to destroy everyone in the world on the pool table. I lived this all day every day for many years. Not only didn't I think I had a problem, I thought I was superior to others because I wasn't "so emotional".

I have gone from that, from overwhelming depression, from constant anxiety, from bipolar/addict like cycling, to the closest thing I've found to inner peace in my life. And I really feel like my thread documents that journey with all of my thoughts along the way documented.

I'd better be careful. Pride comes before a fall. By saying this I'm probably setting myself up, so I'll admit I have a lot of growing to do, will stay grounded in the moment, and will pray for continued strength. Good luck!