Good luck tomorrow. Although, I don't think you'll need it if they called you back and want you to come in tomorrow.
Thanks! That's what I'm hoping!
Originally Posted By: job
The MLC situation will be what it is until she settles down and starts to focus on herself, her issues and realizes that she wasn't at fault for whatever stunted her emotionally as a young girl. All you can do is pray, stay as positive as you can and keep the focus on you and your children.
That's definitely what I'm trying to do. Getting some positive momentum on the job search is certainly helping with that.
An interesting note about the timing of the job search momentum -- a few months ago, while praying and thinking about my frustration with the job search (and lack of progress), I had a moment of insight where I had this thought that perhaps God was holding off on the job (at that time) so that I could have the free time during the day to focus on myself (my own growth, journey, etc.) and on developing a closer relationship with God. The thought was that getting back into full-time work at that time would prevent me from having the solitude during the day that I very much needed to work on my own issues, pray, mediate, read, learn (about MLC, the LBS journey, depression, faith, prayer, etc.), think, and grow... Well -- for the past few weeks I've definitely started to feel much stronger and MUCH closer to God... And much more focused, centered, and stable (in the sense of being able to continue this progress in me even if I return to work full-time and lose all of the free time that I've had for the past several months)... So very interesting that after reaching a point of being stronger, creating new healthy habits related to my personal growth (journaling, meditating, etc.), developing my faith and spiritual practice, and finally not being afraid of the future -- now the job situation seems to be improving in a huge way.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
Job interview went VERY well. They have a couple of other potential candidates that they need to meet with, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I stand out among all of the candidates. I really like the guy who would be my boss and the job is much more interesting that it sounded on paper -- would have a HUGE impact across the district in terms of improving the quality of educational programs around the district. Very exciting -- and the pay is AWESOME.
Keeping fingers crossed and prayers going for this position! :-)
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
I just want to share a good update with what I perceive to be more blessings from God in this entire mess... OW is still in the picture, but we have actually had a really great weekend so far as a family. My W is being increasingly much more friendly -- to the point where this morning we had a long talk about what is going on at the place where she works (the kind of conversation we used to have), yesterday some of my family came over and she was very friendly to them (like nothing had happened between us even though she knows that they know everything) and they were friendly back to her, and in the middle of the day today while we were driving with the kids to a birthday party she was very talkative and asking questions about what my mom's side of the family are doing tomorrow for Easter Sunday and she seemed really interested in wanting to know how everyone is doing.
I am not even trying to mind-read why the change in behavior, because, as I said at the beginning, OW is still in the picture -- I am just being very thankful to God for every single day that we can be together under the same roof as a family peacefully... Every single day is one day more than I expected when this whole mess started. And I have faith that all of these good family moments that we can have together will make a difference at some point in the future -- so the more of these we can have, the better.
As for tomorrow -- we are all going to church together as a family with W's parents and W's sister & her family. W going to church is an answer to another big prayer and, once again, I am hoping it's a day filled with lots of positive family moments that will get stored in the memory bank for later processing.
I'm also pulling a 180 tomorrow -- for myself mostly, but W will not be able to not notice... I'll be wearing a dress -- a really cute sleeveless navy blue dress that looks great on me. Not expecting it to cause an instant wake-up in W, but I feel very comfortable in the dress, like the way I look, and it will be nice for my two daughters to see me in a dress to see that mommy can get "dressed up" like they do :-)
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. I don't have a crystal ball like Wonka, but I've got a feeling that God is planning for our family to have a really special day tomorrow.
Happy Easter to everyone -- I hope you all are blessed with a lovely day!
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
So we actually had a really nice Easter Sunday... The kids had a great time, W and I got along very well, and she was much more pleasant and relaxed with the rest of the family than she has been at the previous holiday get-togethers over the past several months. This was a major change from her behavior at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
And W did notice my dress -- and commented on it saying that I looked really nice. And then -- when we were having Easter lunch at her parents' house, just before we all started eating I looked across the table at one of our kids and then at her and she winked at me... then I caught her looking at me 4 or 5 times throughout lunch. I noticed that because the first time it happened I thought it was just a fluke -- and she looked away very quickly when I noticed... And she did that every time I noticed her looking at me.
I am not even going to try to interpret what it means... OW is definitely still in the picture as far as I can tell (from the fact that there is still texting going on and I assume Skyping and/or phone calls in the middle of the night). I say "as far as I can tell" because while I do observe the texting (which she still tries to hide from me even though everything is out in the open), I need my sleep and I am not getting up in the middle of the night anymore to find out if they are still Skyping and calling each other. She is also still sleeping downstairs. We are getting along much better now -- and over this entire weekend she has engaged me in much more conversation -- about topics other than the kids, schedules, stuff around the house, etc. and in most cases she has been the one to initiate the conversation.
While it was nice to get the compliment on the dress this morning and then to observe the glances across the table and the wink today (which, honestly, I can't remember the last time I caught her staring at me across a table or across a room -- it's probably been years since that has happened), none of that means very much while OW is still involved.
So for now -- everything is still moving forward towards separation, but with much more peace within the house... And I'm actually doing really great, feeling very good about where I am headed with my own growth, excited about the job prospects, and feeling very at peace with life within this MLC mess. Just trying to really appreciate every single positive, peaceful family moment as we have them, and thanking God for those moments because each of those moments -- especially right now -- is such a huge blessing.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
I'm very glad to come here and read that Easter was a nice family affair for you and your family. Holidays usually stress the crisis person out...but it appears that your w was very comfortable w/being around everyone.
I'm happy that she noticed your dress and the winking, well...she was flirting just a bit. I think you are very wise not to read too much into it because who knows where her mind will be by the end of the week.
I hope you get good news this week on the job you interviewed for. If not, continue applying for positions. Your positive attitude will carry you thru anything that should come your way.
Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Looks like your work is starting to pay off ... just reading this you are sounding confident in the face of the storm which I think is key. I had to smile with the 'caught ya lookin' sitch .... just love that OW can text and skype all she wants ... those little moments can not be duplicated.
Fingers crossed for the job prospects ... happy to see you had a good Easter ... sometimes we just need to get through a holiday that could be stressful with no hitches just to know we can.
