i can relate. just a week prior to BD, SHE invoked the hope in me that over the following 12 months "working on the M" is what we would do. I reacted with so much enthusiasm. Then BD. i couldn't understand and really was going crazy. 1 hr sleep per day, lost 7kg in 3 weeks. blood pressure blew up numerous health issues. then separation.
i sent her so many emails and texts. clarifying exactly my position as it had dwindled since BD from working together to just not saying D right now. in general no response. and then she told me to get a diary for this stuff and not bother her. i was pouring my heart out to her, and not only did she not care, it was annoying.
then i confirmed OM. FB-ish account that depicted a whole new life, new profile picture w/ OM. Maiden name. photos of kids and "my family" was her quote. This was a secret to EVERYONE except him and her. I exposed it, and got in even more trouble from her. Now she badmouths me like crazy. Her parents have retreated from my "side", to support their daughter who is telling them I emotionally abused her for 4 years. Which is a huge exaggeration. But, what else is she gonna do. sorry - venting
So WRT your question. I am taking the view that DBing is for my sake, not hers, nor the M. If M is retrievable in the future..... I doubt it, but I'll be in a better place, i hope
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
