H wasn't asleep when I came to bed. I came here first and then when to bed. H asked me "what I was typing to my lover" as he heard me at the computer. I said I don't have a lover. H then asked who I was typing to. I said some freinds here, H wanted to know what we talked about. I ASSume he thinks it's about him, but I told him it's a support network, helps me with things, that the only person I can control is myself.
So we laid there a bit longer and I said "I pray for you now" to which H said "you pray for me?" I said yes I do, for you, for S, for me.
And Laurie, H did say to me yesterday "don't I have any feelings?" A lot of things he said yesterday were phrased as questions.
Quote: You showed him a pattern and if he really thinks about it, in order to be around OW he has to be drunk. That is pitiful. Is that how he wants to be the rest of his life? He has to be doing some thinking.
It is a pattern, the last time he was so drunk he didn't know who he was OW was with him and took him to her "pen" and that wasn't that long ago either.
I hope H wakes up! For one thing he is killing himself. I'm sure his blood pressure was sky high yesterday!!
And it is pitiful, pitiful that neither of them can see it! Pitiful that they think their life together would be good. I have to beleive she is co-dependent and has her own problems. Eventually she will become a mess if H does choose here, her spirit will continue to die and that she will be where I was not too long ago.
I'm detached from his drama, this is his problem, a year ago I was a mess. I an thankful every day for what I've been given, for being shown the things I have been, for seeing that I AM NOT responsible for "fixing" my H. Either he "awakens" or he drowns.
Cathy 
