Well H showed up her early afternoon. S and I were downstairs and H came down. I asked him how the hockey game was and if he had just gotten up. H said not too long ago, I was sicker than a dog---from drinking till bar time.

H did spend the night at OW’s. I asked him where he stayed and he said do you want the truth or a lie. I said the truth and he told me.

I then went upstairs to our bedroom. H followed me up there and said to me “what do I disgust you?” I said no and asked him what happened. H said he drove there at bar time and doesn’t even remember driving to her house. Dropped off his buddy first and doesn’t remember doing that either. OW lives about 45 minutes away! H doesn’t know what possessed him to go her either. Said he was so drunk, the drunkest he’s been in along time and that’s where he ended up. I said didn’t you think of me here? H said to tell you the truth I wasn’t thinking of anything.

H then asked me what he should do? Said it’s been a year and he still can’t figure it out. I told him he needed to be the one to decide that he go into this himself. H then said, “Did I come back for our S? I said, “I don’t think you did.”

We talked about his drinking and driving, not remembering and what if he had gotten into an accident. H said he didn’t care about himself, but would if he killed someone else. I asked him of OW had said anything about that and H said no. H acted like he didn’t think drinking was a problem, that he wasn’t drinking because of the way his life was, that it was just something he did..now this is just me interpreting what he said but it kind of surprised me that he didn't think his drinking was a problem related to his problems?. I said people drink because they have problems and it just hides them.

And then there was a bolt of lightning and H said, “So when I’m drunk I go to OW and when I’m sober I don’t?” I said, “That seems to be the pattern” And it is.

I then asked H if he had gotten the rest of his stuff and he so no. I said why not? H said he just didn’t want to deal with OW, told OW he was leaving and left and came home. I said what did OW say before you left? H said “she loves me and wants me to move back in with her” I didn’t say anything.

S and I left H alone for the rest of the day. I kept S occupied. H is sick, sicker than a dog from drinking and I think he feels terrible and more confused then ever.

On the positive side, H did come back to me. I don’t feel that H is going to leave again. I think H is getting ready to leave replay…maybe…wishful thinking? Maybe H is getting ready to have an awakening?

Time will tell. I’ll just keeping doing what I’ve been doing.

Cathy