Hi sweetie. Glad you had a mostly good trip. Proud of you for going.
I understand completely your feeling in your house. Like something is missing and it throws the whole equilibrium off. Almost like you are kinda holding your breath waiting for things to feel normal again.
I get it. It is unsettling. Like what happened to the life you were living? How did it get so derailed?
The truth is that there is something missing and it was derailed. And I know you know that one day it will feel differently and different isnt bad. Not at all...but it is different than what you had, than what you thought it was going to look like.
So, we lose our footing some. We feel unbalanced for awhile until we find our center. And you will...you are.
I also get about the babies. You ever notice when you are thinking of getting a different car that you suddenly see that car everywhere when you never noticed that before? It's kinda like that, right? You are focused still on the baby. Maybe not consciously, but it's in there. So, you are going to notice them because of that.
And because there were so freakin many of them on the plane. LOL!
My son was 16 when all this started. It's a tough age for a young man when his dad does something like that. I wish I could tell you that it didnt affect my boy, but, that wouldnt be the truth.
He lost his way for a long while. He used to feel about his dad the way your son felt about his.
He had to work through a whole bunch of stuff regarding him. I think it changed him forever in some ways.
As his dad moved 6 hours away, it has been hard for them to find their way back to each other.
It is a work in progress. It helps that I never say anything about his dad. It helps that I am ok.
They have slowly gotten closer. It isnt the relationship they had, nor the one they could have had, but, it's the one they got.
One day, Mighty, you will wake up and that heaviness will be gone. You will wake up and take a deep breath and think...I did it. I got through it and I am doing great.
Your life is yours to create. It's yours to paint however you want it. There is something amazing about that, really.
