Couple of things. First this is a LONG road and we have no idea where it leads. It's very early in your sitch. So just do what you believe YOU should do. My mantra is to "act with the character I wish she had". If we just give up after BD because the WAS is acting crazy, are we really living up to our vows? Or do they deserve a couple of years to see if they are just going through a life crisis?
I realize how few people do this. My best friend's W is a family therapist, she says like < 5% of people in a D do what most of the people on this board do. Most rebound or medicate, try to control their ex through poor behavior, or at best just walk away. Very few try to learn from it.
I had an acquaintance who had been BD'd. I found out his W asked for a D two months earlier. We talked about it, and I was talking about the DB site and ways. Then he told me he had been seeing a new girl for 6 weeks and wanted to talk about that R. I knew right away I had made a mistake. Most people just don't do this stuff.
What do YOU think? How long do you feel is appropriate to stand by your M? Until she cheats? Until she says it's over? Until the divorce is inked? Or until you have really moved on, grown, the dust has settled, it's a year after your D is FINAL, you can see there is no sign of change in your ex, and you are interested in using your new skills to build with someone else?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
