Need Help 3

[errod]

I just got home from the gym this morning. I am washing clothes and running the dishwasher as I type this. I am going to clean soon. Then I will probably sit outside and get caught up on some reading.

I am worried about W trying to brainwash D14 against me. D14 is not dumb though and just like every time I persue W she backs away, D14 does the same to her.

I have to be honest though knowing W went out at 11 at night to go meet a dude at a hotel 40 miles away from both of them has really left a scar on me. At moments I feel the lowest I have in this whole situation. At the same time even though I don't want things to be over, I know realize it is out of my control and I am able to function again. I do not watch my phone anymore, I do not call or text her.

I do have to see W tonight at D14's cheer banquet and I know she is going to try and sit with me. And of course I will reach for the drug. I can't move because sitting with her feels so good and then I think things can work out again.