Confused and mix messages. Part 3

[Sotto]

"Like the things he has said about after a d we can still live together, be friends, raise a child together"

Not sure what others think Cherry (and please don't act solely on my input) but I wonder whether it is worth setting an early boundary on statements like the above. That sounds to me as though your H is wanting a foot in two camps. A girlfriend outside the home and a semi-family (flat mates co-raising a child) to come home to - no consequences for H at all!

I presume this isn't what you want. And I think it would be fine to clarify - H, D isn't what I want. But if we do D, I wouldn't want us to live together and be friends. I would move on and hopefully meet someone else to share my life.

My H had this vision that we would just sell the house, divide the proceeds and I would melt away - leaving him to start a new family of his own. He's finding that when we put my preferences, boundaries and decisions into the mix, it isn't that straightforward at all...