hold on! - 9

[u-turn]

S20 came over last night - sadly with his gilfriend. I was hoping that she wasn't going to be there so I could speak more openly with him. But it was good to see him again. I don't like his interaction with gf because I can see that he is being a nice guy (x10). This worries me that he has learned the negative parts of a relationship from me. I want to teach him what I've learned

W was over the top crazy nice last night when they were here and at one point spewed at me for not being the same. I told her to stop telling me how to act.

I was being myself and was not trying to overdo it. She seemed so fake.

Before they got here,w and I talked about me mostly. I told her I was tired of living like this and that I do not trust her. I am unhappy about not trusting her. She apologized but I'm not sure it means much to her.

She still wants to journal to each other.