I moved W's pillows to the couch, making sure she saw me when she was brushing her teeth. Earlier she mentioned she will not leave as she wants to be with S3 as much as possible, so I suggested she can pay half the bills then as well if she just wants to live like brother and sister. She even mentioned that she could move in with her mom.....not likely, she will find out why and kick her out. I could, but I am not leaving this house.
She did mention that she "just unblocked him today," sure. "There was also contact all last week." "How do you know that?" she asks. "I feel that is irrelevant compared to the decision at hand." She mentioned controlling, tried to guilt trip me, "dick move," of which "I can see that. I am just trying to protect myself, my family, and my marriage." I caught myself almost apologize for some of these things. Do not apologize for boundaries.
We are supposed to go to MIL's house tomorrow. This could be interesting. I may just hang out with some friends. Call and wish her family a good day and apologize for not being able to be there. MIL will understand. If she asks, I can just tell her to ask W. MIL does not trust her at all anyway, still. Will not at all. Nor will she support her. Feels kind of bad doing this, but these are the decisions she has made. She can feel what it is like.
Yes I have made my mistakes in the past (communication, npt emote enough). Yes I took the wrong actions at times, said the wrong things, did not say enough. I did not recognize what was truly wrong. I did downplay her feelings in the past at times, occasionally did not listen. I know where I am to blame in the matter. I tried what I could, did what I thought was right, and concentrated on those too much, almost psychotically.
She does have an addictive personality. This is going to be difficult. Standing up for myself, family. Sometimes I feel like I shoot myself in the foot. Other times, it just feels relieving. Time will tell.
Unfortunately I found this source much later than I wish I had - would have helped 3-4 months earlier. GAL'ing helps substantially. She was cake eating and being crafty. I let my guard down too much.
If she wants to go, she can. Her decision. She does everything for it though....
