Thanks gwen and bea, idk what is going on in my head, it seems that pit of sadness has taken over again - recycling through the stages of grief I presume.
Talking to h hit me hard, it was lovely to hear his voice, he sounded so down and I ended up just wanting to hear him say those words.....but of course he didn't.
Yesterday I made a few decisions for my future, it does not take any of this pain away but does give me a goal to head towards.
I do feel like I am drowning in sorrow again, I have stayed strong through this relapse and remained NC, I know that it would only end with more pain and rejection if I didn't.
Idk, it's not as though he is happier now, it makes all this even more pointless.
