...and another WAS

[Pyrite]

I had a very similar thought this morning actually: "How can she just give up without even trying?"

in my case she "thinks" she did try. And she did I suppose, but she didn't consult me and so her version of trying was at best not constructive and at worst delivered as criticism. It may be different if we tried together, both focused on the same thing, the M. which we never did. .

But, I admit that things might have been too far gone for this even several months ago. What happened is that an opportunity presented it self that looked like the better alternative. Removed the unhappy relationship, no trying, new and exciting love maybe, who knows. All very human and even forgivable. In my view very short-sighted though. Especially with kids involved, very immature and selfish. But by the time it might've become an issue for her where leaving the marriage was real, or it was a sitch where a decision had to be made, she was already so far down that path that turning back was impossible. Maybe the love was simply gone. And that is how we can look at it.

Still it doesn't change where I am. She is pulling the strings. She has moved on to create the life she wants. Forgiveness, GAL, detach, etc ALL not an issue for her. She has everything. And I am left with nothing. Well a few percent of what I had.

Optimists might point out that I am less an unhappy R. And the opportunity of a future happy R. But right now, and I suppose for the last few years I would put up with the status of the R for full time w my kids etc. And always promise of fixing what was once a beautiful R. I dont want to go forward. I want go backward. Forward doesn't look very nice, even GAL. Chances are it won't include my kids anymore than every 2nd weekend. I am realistically faced with taking the best of the worst. and this doesn't seem like much of a life even with a thousand hobbies in between.