One question I have about the 'rules' regards asking family for help. I assume this means the family of the WAS? Reading that I did see it as possible that a LBS may try and use their own family to instigate some communication or a reconciliation etc. A little experience now suggests to me this would be just as a bad an idea as trying to use the WAS's family.
About presents: what about birthdays, anniversaries etc. Buying flowers to say sorry is different from celebrating a birthday. In principle should all occasions be ignored until there is 'progress' in the R?
How does someone reconcile pulling back with being confident, cool etc. To me it seems a different balancing act that may end up with the LBS appearing aloof.
How are these rules affected by being physically separated or by having children?
Is there any general guideline for how long these 'rules' should be adhered to. I ask because elsewhere online there are NC guides that suggest 30 days NC etc. I understand pulling back but should it be done for a set period of time or until (hopefully) there is a positive change in your sitch?
By the bar scene I assume that means going out with the intention to date/pull? How about socialising with new friends/people unknown to WAS. In a relatively small town it is possible to be seen by WAS or their friends whilst out, even if this is in a completely innocent scenario. Any advice on that? Of course you have to get out. Maybe I'm asking also about how to handle any fallout from being seen just being out and about with 'new friends.'
How do you reconcile focusing on your spouse in communication whilst not appearing to ask what they're up to or be seen as pursuing.
Are there any general exceptions to ignoring what you see/hear?
BD - 30TH JAN 2015 S - 30TH JAN 2015 PA CONFIRMED - 16TH FEB 2015 (SINCE AT LEAST OCT 2014) CONTINUAL TALK OF D ME: 31 W: 28 T: 10yrs M: 4.5yrs D:5, S:6
