Wife had EA but does not admit to it...

[Sotto]

Hi Lnc, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, but glad you have found the forum. There are many wise people on here, and you will find it a very supportive place. You'll be on moderation at first, and replies may seem slow, but keep posting little and often and you'll soon come off moderation.

It sounds to me as though your W is trying to down play what has been a serious event. Sending topless pictures of yourself to a man outside of your marriage is not a 'completely innocent' act. And she is down playing with comments like him being from the South. You mention phone calls. Is he a distance away? And is he married?

There are danger signals here, in that - even though you have discovered this - your W doesn't sound remorseful, and she wants to remain in contact with him.

I'm not a user of Facebook and don't understand how that might work. Are you able to monitor whether there might have been chat on this? It's a concern that she still wants to be in touch with him, given the significance of what has already happened. You may want to have a look at a thread in Newcomers, started by Sandi. It focuses on wayward wives - and I think your wife has become 'wayward' from the recent behaviour you describe.

I'm not a 'vet' (experienced poster) and hopefully others with more experience will post further. Normally a strong stance is recommended if your W has become wayward though.

Can you tell us some more about your marriage. You say your W wasn't feeling good enough and needed someone to appreciate how she used to look. Apart from recent events, have you been aware of concerns that your W may have about your relationship?

Keep posting Lnc, and we'll help as much as we can.

Take care, Toots :-)