Job and Mighty - yes he will probably make contact again but I always sort of hope he will go and away - and ideally sort himself out. I do believe if I am calm detached and reasonable it is harder for him to rage . . . and that seems true.
Bea, You are doing the right things, i.e., by remaining calm and detached. What I have always found interesting w/the mlcer is that even though you are divorced, they still seem to think that they can waltz right in and take whatever they want. If they can't get it being a bully w/threats, etc., then they will try being nice. Somewhere on the Mother Ship should be a class on what divorce does and what it means. They don't get it and that's why they will truly don't go away for a very long time, if ever.
Bea, for your sake, it would be nice if he would pack up his mlc tricks and go away and work on himself, but I don't see him doing that. He's better, but he's still got a long ways to go and who knows if he ever will figure things out. He's a lost soul because his compass (you) is gone.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think your level of calmness and detachment is amazing. I want to be like that some day. I am sorry you must deal with the crazy but glad you have found your own center in the eye of the storm.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
Oh and he NOW thinks going to the courts is not in anyone's best interests. Well, then stop freakin taking that route!!! Sheesh.
Hi UR and Gwen
In MLC brain he only had to go to Court because i was unreasonable - in his eyes, in not giving him everything he wanted, and standing up for myelf.
They want to abandone us, plunder joint assets, and get peeved (only word for it) when we suggest that it isn't legal to do this (by defintion for them it is right because it is what they want, and no other right exists)
I too would love to be able to remain calm 99% of the time.
You are doing great, keep up the good work.
Peace to You
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
Bea, what I’ve read so far, it looks to me that he’s been trying different approaches to get to you somehow. When things don’t work, he goes back into his hole to think of something else. I’m not sure what he is trying to accomplish though. I think that he doesn’t know himself. You might be right, and what he wants is to get everything he thinks he needs to have from you. Stubborn man…
You have an amazing patience.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Well the Easter Bunny obviously bit my xh (that is what they are supposed to do right?)
I got an email today wishing me (and the family) a Happy Easter. A little odd as it it now over, but hey who is taking notes.
So in it I get chit chat about his recent trip to a city I would love to visit, and his intention to visit his grandfather's birthplace on his next trip - something he steadfastly refused to do during the whole time I knew him.
This man is going back generations, not simply cycling. I really thought he had disappeared for a few weeks . . . .
