Dropping in to say Hi!

[job]

Kimmerz,
We can go revisit the past, but it's the past and there's nothing we can do to change it. The what ifs, could have beens, would have beens, etc., would not have stopped his crisis. As for his complaints about the house being such a mess, well, it was an excuse, nothing more. He certainly wasn't looking within and asking himself the necessary questions that would have helped him figure things out at that time. He, like all of them, will find excuses, be it a messy house, you served bagged salad, you were too thin or too fat, you don't wear heels, etc. The list goes on and on w/excuses. What we all have done, and it's perfectly normal for us, is that we pretzeled ourselves trying to make things better and keep them happy. We took on the heavy baggage and, yes, we all drank from the pitcher of kool aid that they offered up. You are far wiser now and will decline that glass of kool aid, not matter if it's got ice in the glass or not.

It's good to go back and revisit the past. It helps us to see just how far we've come. The shock and devastation that we went thru was like a war for many of us. You both were going thru your own individual modes of crisis. Sometimes that happens to couples and it's not pretty by any means.

You need to accept that you did the best you could w/what you had to work w/at that time. Leave the past back there. Focus on the present as this is a gift and one that you can improve on each and every day. We are all very lucky because we are survivors, not victims. We all got stronger and far more wiser than we ever were. Take your knowledge and pay it forward, if not here, in the real world. There are many who could use a smile or a kind word to brighten up their day.

Keep the focus on you and your girls. They are at that age whereby they will be watching, listening and learning from you each and every day.