It's ok. You drop your message like an anvil over the head but I'm a tough cookie. I was speaking to a colleague yesterday who was so defensive, and I knew that she was going to have trouble hearing any perspective other than her own (she wasn't mad at me-- it was a situation with a client)... but she couldn't see her own role, or the client's perspective at all.
I won't be that way.
So, fire away, I can take it.
In other news, I had drafted an update but never posted it. I spent some time with STBX at my SIL's father's funeral.... here it is: ------------------------------------- So, mozza, labug, Betsey, MB, Ss, and everyone else who's held my feet to the fire and encouraged me to face myself honestly:
I think I had a real, true, detached DB moment.
STBX, D4 and I drove all together last night to the funeral of my SIL's father. I am proud of myself for: -- being a calm, helpful passenger. NO anxiety in the car. I put the phone down, making pleasant conversation. This is an enormous 180 for me. (I used to be so anxious in the car that I would look at my phone the whole time. I was too afraid to look at the road. H hated that I was so anxious, and that I wouldn't engage with him.)
-- D4 said she had to use the bathroom. As a team, we calmly got off highway, found a place to stop, I took her in and handled it easily. No problem.
-- kept the conversation (mostly) light and breezy (we were going to/coming from a funeral, after all). I was not obsessing over whether I was making a good impression on H or not, not fixating on whether I was appearing positive or interesting enough. I was relaxed.
--I even made him laugh.
There were even more "Claire is detached and moving on" moments, but I think you get the gist.
I'm starting to get it, you guys. Champagne all around! !
